Ain't It Funny

So Mr. L is out of town tonight and so far it's been nothing but drama. First, I get back home from dropping him off and Bubbles decide she is going to play Bowling for Momma and bolt out of the door as soon as I open it and knock me flat on my ass. Then she decides she does not want to come back into the house and that momma is going to have to run her ass all over the neighborhood. Clearly, I was not off to a good start.

Second, after five and a half hours of not being in contact with L and three and a half hours after he was supposed to check into his hotel and call me, the panic sets in. So at 3:30 in the morning, I call the front desk to see if he has arrived and am told no. Calm down, he probably is stuck in traffic or something I tell myself. But it's 3:30 am, what kind of traffic could there possibly BE in Podunk, TN? Construction then I reassure myself - anything to help me retain sanity at this point. Finally, at 6:00 am, Tennessee Highway Patrol tracks L down, fast asleep in his hotel room at the EXACT SAME HOTEL THAT TOLD ME HE WASN'T THERE THREE HOURS PREVIOUSLY. Oh, and he checked in around 1:30 am. Brilliant.

Turns out, there is no cell reception in Podunk and the hotel phones won't let you dial out long distance. Not sure yet if the town is truly behind the times and does not have a payphone anywhere within its limits, but L was sleepy so I'll wait to quiz him on that tomorrow. Or today rather, as it were.

So I'm pissed. Actually, no, I'm physically ill from the worry AND pissed. As hell. And oddly enough, I'm not angry with L, I'm angry with my ex and myself. I'm angry that after two and a half years of a very one-sided relationship and serious late-night shenanigans, I immediately go into Freak the Fuck Out™ mode if someone doesn't contact me when they say they will.

You see, Ex used to be a professional drinker and at the time, I was holding down a more than full time job, so it wasn't as if I could drive his ass to every bar in town every night of the week. Well, every night except Sunday and Monday, unless there was a pitcher special going on somewhere. He would swear to me that he and his friends would have a designated driver or they would ride the bus home, but it never happened. He would come home, hours after he said he would be, stinking drunk and having driven himself. He had a penchant for drunk driving and like a selfish asshole, never bothered to think about the lives he was putting at risk - his own, other people on the road, the people he would potentially leave behind who would be shattered - for his own inebriation and stupidity.

And I just cannot let go of it all. L is completely different, he's caring and trustworthy and I have no reason to believe that he would ever be that careless or stupid. His reasons for not being able to contact me are perfectly legitimate and I believe him when he says he was worried about how worried he knew I would be. So even with all of that in mind, I still cannot let go of the past. I still cannot relax and I'm as much to blame for all of this stressed out bullshit as Ex is. It sickens me that a relationship centered around the selfishness of one person still affects the open, honest, loving, dedicated relationship I have with L.

So, after six hours of worry, extreme stress and positively NO sleep, I am off to bed.

Something Sinister Is Going On In My House

It started maybe five or six months ago, I would notice that items were misplaced around the house and then my dog Cami started following me everywhere as if protecting me against some unseen evil. The clues back then were subtle and I wasn't really picking up on the fact that something was wrong, it was more or less just a small annoyance that occurred every couple of days or so. Still, Cam would not leave my side and even went so far as to guard the bathroom door when I was showering and getting ready for work in the morning.

I suppose the presence in my house became more apparent when the little monster started messing with my clothes. One day, a blouse wouldn't fit quite the same, as if someone had shrunk it - but no, I always dry-cleaned that particular blouse so how could it have shrunk? Then a short time later, someone took in an inch or two from the waist of all of my pants. At first I thought it was funny, I mean, obviously this was not a mean spirit if the worst it would do was alter my clothing, right?

I was wrong. Not even a week later, it started poisoning my food. Everything I ate I would almost instantly vomit right back up. When I finally just gave up on eating, it resorted to tampering with my toothpaste so that every time I brushed my teeth I would gag and gag until finally I resolved myself to my fate and stuck my head in the toilet. At about the same time, the presence also emptied all of my perfume bottles and refilled them with a most foul smelling concoction that would send me racing to the bathroom.

All of this non-eating and throwing up was really taking a toll, I was more exhausted than I thought physically possible and yet somehow SOMEHOW! I had managed to gain weight. But then it dawned on me that no, the spirit had adjusted my scale! At this point I realized the spirit's trickery knew no bounds.

After a few weeks, the presence grew bored of playing with me and things returned to normal around my house - well, normal aside from the wide-angle mirrors it had left behind. I still can't seem to get those to return to the way they were before and show my true figure -all it shows is the most ridiculous bump around my midsection. But aside from that, life had returned to normal. I was finally able to sleep and eat like a decent human being, though Cami was still keeping a close eye on me.

Just when I thought I was in the clear, the spirit has returned. This time it swapped all of the shoes in my closet with those of someone with smaller feet! When I was getting ready for work this evening, it was almost impossible to wedge my feet into my shoes and that's when I realized - they were two sizes too small! Ooooh, you mean little spirit! Why must you torment me this way?

So that's that, I've had it. Mr. L and I are selling and getting as far away from this house as possible. Of course, it will probably take us a few months to sell and find something new, so I'm hoping by February I can be free of this presence.

Lessons in Zoology

We just keep acquiring more and more wildlife. Today I rescued a puppy that some asshole just threw away, and look how cute she is! How can people do that?

She doesn't have a name as of yet, but we keep referring to her as either "Puppy" or "Sweet Pea." L and I are taking Sweet Pea to the local animal rescue that I've adopted dogs from in the past (a no-kill shelter) so they can get her all set up with shots and some antibiotics for a wound she has on her flank. Then it looks we'll be her foster parent for about a week after which they expect to have a kennel opened up for her.

The dog is a total and complete sweetheart, just as loving and docile as could be - how can people just dispose of animals that way? Unbelievable.

It's our own Animal Planet

We have some new wildlife here at the House of R. Allow me to introduce you to Sri Swami Satchidananda:

We call him Satch for short because God knows I can barely say that sober let alone when drunk. Not that I'm a lush or anything, 'cause I'm totally not. Really, no, not me. Uh-uh.

Anyways. More pictures of Mr. Satch:

Isn't he adorable? Just wait until he gets neutered, then I will like him more.

Eventually, there will be updates...

...but not quite yet. The past week has been filled with new jobs, flat tires, broken glasses, and negative pregnancy tests, oh my!

Updates soon, I promise! But in the meantime, behold the cuteness that is my dog, Cami. She recently had a birthday and is now a year old.