Highly Laughable

Biggest maternity lie out there:

Purchase your pre-pregnancy size!

All You Need Is Love

Is it true, is love all you need? And if you have love and trust and honesty and dedication and ALL of those things, then why does a lack of intimacy make it feel like not enough? Why must I nitpick the one small area when everything else is so amazing?

And why must I run it all through my head over and over and pick and pick until it is an open, festering wound that hurts like hell?

He Said, She Said

Her: It's kind of like having the best sex of your life, but you know you're going to get gonorrhea, ya know?
Him: No, actually I'm not familiar with that.
Her: Yeah, me either...